This amazing craze of eating mouldy bread has just started in America, by a
small Washington family. Eyewitnesses say they were just about to have toast
one quiet night around the dinner table, when Mrs D Composed noticed the white
fluffy substance growing on the bread before toasting it, and just to annoy her
family, served it `as is'. The family apparently loved it, and now plan to have it
every night for tea. America has caught on to this incredible craze like the mould
on the bread and even the president was reported to have said, "well, it aint too
bad, kinda fruity...". And with this, people all over the country were setting up
incubators and fulling their hot water cupboards with loaves of bread.
Scientists have already began working on machines that instantly produce mould
on bread, and say they have come quite far in one days effort. They have
basically converted a microwave into a modular operative unit for linking
deprivitors, or MOULD for short. They will not release any more information than
that, as they believe this could trigger world peace, and would rather have all the
credit to themselves.
They are certain that there is no harm in long term mould digesting, but they state
they are not 100% sure, as further tests are to be held. A man was seen leaving
the A Crock research centre Late yesterday afternoon, but would not comment
on his identity or part in researching the bacterial growth. With the crowd of
reporters surrounding him, he seemed to find it hard to shut his car door with his
third arm.
People have been observed acting strange since this news was released, not just
in America but in Australia too. Mr N Cubator of Darwin Australian was reported
to have stated this to authorities, after making several certain disturbances
outside the Darwin Police Headquarters. (Certain unpublishable words changed)
"I tried to those [people] that the stuff was [very] brilliant, but they wouldn't [really]
listen to me, I've been working on the [mould] for years, but no-one would ever
[really] listen to me!". Mr Cubator was arrested shortly after that breif interview.
The Prime Minister today, did not state whether he would support the importation
or growing of the mould in New Zealand or not. It is believed that a meeting will
be held tomorrow before a press conference discussing the subject tomorrow
near mid-day, and more information will be released then.
At the moment, if you have some of the ageing bread, we suggest you only digest
at your own risk.