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The Fall of the Smurfs
I had hated Smurfs for the longest time. Their little blue forms
annoyed me so, and their high-pitched voices made me want to smash the TV.
So when I decided that I was going to take over their little village and
make the Smurfs pay for what they had d one, I was going to go prepared.
I bought an RV and outfitted it specially for the invasion. I
anticipated being gone for several months, so the RV was well stocked with
food and other supplies. As my main mission was to take over the Smurf
village, I carried with me a number of nets and Smurf traps, all designed
to exacting specifications, for the Smurfs were not stupid, and would
avoid any ordinary traps. I also had a "playroom" and a well-stocked
laboratory, where I would perform my experiments on my unwilling blue
subjects. One side of the RV was lined with cages, each of which could
hold two Smurfs comfortably.
I set out on the first day of spring. The Smurfs are most active
in the spring, when they run around smelling flowers and playing in the
fields and generally being nuisances. I drove all day until I reached the
borders of Smurfland. A little wooden gate, decorated with flowers and
leaves, denoted the entrance to that happy place. I got down from the RV
and kicked it over, smashing it with my foot. I then got my net and a
heavy canvas bag and went out, looking for signs of Smurf.
I found my first Smurf almost immediately. He was looking at his
reflection in a puddle and whistling the Smurf's theme song. He was so
stupid, he never even noticed me coming up behind him. I got close enough
and whipped the net over his blue form.
"Hey, why'd you do that?"
"Shut up, you little blue creep", I walked up and looked down on
him. He stared up at me indignantly, putting his blue hands at his hips.
I knelt down, got my hand under the net, and ripped off that little white
diaper thing all of the Smurfs wear. There he was, naked as sin, his
little blue dick hanging out. His hands went down to cover himself, which
I took as an opportunity to give him a good sharp thunk on the nose. As
is well known, that will knock a Smurf out for about a minute. I took
that opportunity to stuff him in the bag and carry him back to the RV. I
put him in the cage and put a padlock on it, since Smurfs are well known
for their escape abilities. I then went back out to continue the search.
Hunting was good. By the time night fell, I had captured five
Smurfs. One of them was the hated Handy Smurf, the others were just your
average stupid Smurf. I took Handy out of his cage, holding him firmly so
that he didn't squirm away.
"Hey stop that, you can't do that!"
"I can do whatever I want, you little prick", I popped him in a
large glass bottle that he couldn't climb out of. He was still naked, as
were all the other Smurfs, and he covered up his genitals with his hands
"So what's your name?"
"How old are you?"
"In Smurf years?"
"Get your hands up."
"Get your hands up, you blue bastard." I reached in and thumped
him on the head. His hands flew up to rub his head, which was when I
grabbed them, put them behind his back, and tied them with a twisty-tie.
His little blue dick was semi-hard, which I noted in my lab book.
"Why Handy Smurf, you have a hard-on", I said. He blushed a darker
shade of blue, but said nothing. His erection, though, grew even harder
and longer, which is to say about an inch long.
"So Handy Smurf, have you ever fucked Smurfette?"
"Have I ever done what?"
"Have you ever...smurfed her?"
"Gosh...we Smurfs would never do that!"
"Why not, Handy?"
"Because Papa Smurf would get very mad at us. No one has ever
smurfed Smurfette, its against the law."
"So...don't you want to do it though?"
He didn't answer, but he looked very uncertain. I had what I
wanted though, so I put him back in his cage. I took each Smurf out in
turn, questioning them the same way I had questioned Handy Smurf. All of
them seemed shocked when I suggested they could have their way with
Smurfette, though they all seemed interested in the idea. One Smurf,
though, refused to answer any
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Smurfs, The Smurfs, Papa Smurf, Smurfette, The Smurfs and the Book that Tells Everything, The Strange Awakening of Lazy Smurf, Smurfs: The Lost Village
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