Sermon
My fellow Americans, good Samaritan people, listen to me as I discuss this serious issue at hand. Does everyone in this congregation not dread the day that you make a call an cannot get a hold of the one you are trying to reach? Yes, I am sure that this has happened to all of us at one time or another. What is the worse thing than this awful fate? Let me tell you. When you leave a message on a machine or with someone to call you back, and your call is not returned.


In my experience men are usually the ones who commit this awful crime. Although I have not had every call returned from the girls that I call, I find it more to be men who do this. Whoever it is, it is a crime, and should be taken care of. Anyone who commits this awful fate should be sentenced to jail. There is no doubt in my mind that these types of people go to hell when they die!


Are they that lazy that they cant pick up the phone and call you and see what you wanted? I mean for all they know, there could have been an emergency! Something exciting couldíve happened. Their parents could be dead! But do they care? Obviously not! Usually people who commit this crime commit it on a normal basis!


Maybe it is not just laziness that causes people to commit this crimeÖmaybe they just wrote it down and forgotÖor maybe they are just lazy and donít even care about checking the messages at all! I donít get it, and I am getting angry just thinking about it!


Another reason why people might commit this heinous crime would be that they just donít want to talk to you. But why cant they just say that they donít want to? I guess in a way I can understand why someone would do thatÖso maybe you would get the hint. But in my experience, people rarely do. If you want to be real and honest, you should just tell them straight up, STOP CALLING ME! I DONíT WANT TO TALK TO YOU! But I guess the average person does not have this courage. You would wonder though, would they rather die and burn in hell than be disliked by a mortal human being? You would think that they would see the difference. I mean someone being afraid to insult one person but facing hell, that seems pretty contradictory to me.


Well, I am glad that I have gotten my point across to all you fine people, and I hope to take your comments after the sermon. Thanks for your time, and remember the best thing you can do for you, is pick up that phone and dial!