Satire

Hello. My name is Ingrid and Iím going to tell you all about my journey to the beautiful and scenic nation/drug capital of the United States of America. If you donít know, Iím talking about Washington DC.
We arrived at National airport on a Saturday I believe. I went with a tour group of about 40 of my closest chaps. We had all won a trip from the American based organization Bring Foreigners Into Our Town, Empty Their Wallets, and Kick Them Out Society For Human Betterment. A really nice organization if I may say so myself. Anyway, we all got of the plane and began to make our way through the crowds. Quite polite people they were. Many liked to wave at me with their middle fingers raised high in the air. It mustíve been a salute of some kind. We got to the door when we realized we had forgotten our bags. Racing back to the terminal, we found our bags neatly tossed on the conveyor belt. One man, hunched over the belt held my sport back in his greasy palm.
"May I have my bag sir" I kindly asked in my native tounge.
"What you damn FOB! I canít understand what the hell you are saying! Do you talk A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N?" he plesently replied, glancing at the bag which he suddenly realized was not that of his own.
"Whatís the problem here gentlemen ?" bellowed the security guard who had approached us from behind covertly.

Seeing an officer in uniform pleased me and I decided that it would be polite to show him my gratitude. In my country, you must always salute an officer in uniform but saluting is by know means universal. I then remembered the salutes of other Americans in that very same airport so I properly applied the same motion in front of the officers face, almost sticking my middle finger into his nose.
I got my bag back but spent the rest of vacation away from my old chaps but with a few new ones. They are quite nice people but a little too nice for me.