Purgatorium
( My self punishment and Hell of today. )



These words you are about to view, and/or hear, deal with self-indulgence, a person vs. society, and most important of all, following ones dreams to escape the world they have been trapped in from the beginning of their life time. One can never truly escape the real world, but at least it can be experienced in a new window, a different view. The smell of desire and the echoes of wishes waited for- they’ve given me strength to keep moving, to keep struggling, to never look back at lost hopes. As you walk the paths before you, you will come to understand the self made hell and punishment I’ve made myself in my transition to gain that full potential in life that awaits me. This will remain a record in my mind for the time to come, which is mine, and mine alone to share. I will be your guide in this journey in this transition point in my life, a Virgil if you will. This transition point in my life branches out in separate paths, each having its own meaning, but each path being on path in whole. Alas with all transitions there is a beginning.

The Beginning of the Path
The beginning, or may we say, the start of my transition would be at the time I graduated high school and gotten back from Hawaii for my graduation trip. The clear blue water, the tropical beaches, the grass skirts, the nightly parties, everything you could imagine Hawaii to be and more was all gone. Right when I took that step off the airplane back in Orlando on that Sunday morning. I knew the world was before me and many choices and decisions had to be made.
As I rode home from the airport passing the same familiar scenery, the regular toll stops, the same old house and buildings, the same stupid signs for theme park attractions, and the bill boards advertising their tourist traps, I thought, what am I going to actually going to do with my life right now. The whole world was in front of me just then and there I realized. College of course, was the one choice my parents had in store for me. Me of course, being my typical hardheaded and over prided-self , had other things in mind, I was going to put college off for a couple of years.
To me I was free to do what I wanted to do. No way was either of my parents going to change my decision making, because in my mind at that time. I was the only right, my view the only right, and my choice was mine to make, regardless of what they or someone else thought. It was time to take it easy from the long years of school I had just finished. It was time to enjoy life the way I wanted to. All in all my main reason for this dumb choice was simple at the time
" Because I wanted to and could."
Finally I pulled up to the driveway and to the home I have always known and to the family I have always been so close to. Me and my family have always had very close relationship and a very open one, we have always been able to talk to one another through bad and good times. You can say it is you typical stereotype family with now flaws. This is not so as I was to find out unfortunately.
Walking in the doorway, my parents, of course were extremely happy to see me and give me the longest interrogation about what my trip was like, and if I had fun. Bringing in my bags and putting my things away in my room, I had in my mind and mumbled to myself
" What were my parents going to say when I tell them what I have decided to
do? "
and
" How am I going to tell them this? ",
this I did not know but still my choice was mine, and I couldn’t be wrong.
Later that evening at dinner we are all discussing more details about