Personal EssayDear diary
It feels like I watch the same movie over and over again and each time nothing new happens. The same clothing, the same cup which holds the same drink at the same table in which he sits and reads the same daily paper smoking out of the same old pipe. And each day for the last year (since my dad died) I have sat and admired him. Hoping that one-day he will speak to me but he never does.


He acts and looks just like him, as if he could be his identical brother, but he never spoke of any brother and I’m to afraid to go over and talk to him. He seems to block out everything around him just like dad. In fact dad didn’t show anything at all never had, especially not to me. He wake up and leave the house without a word and the same at evenings he’d come home pour himself a glass of brandy and sit there in silence. He had done since mum died. I presume that was due to missing her.


But now I replace my dad with the image of this man who I almost stalk. I memorise his every movements as if I am learning a script for a play. And when he leaves with out a word and I sit there and cry.


I am now gong to speak to a lady my friend referred me too, to stop me doing this. The lady is called sue, she tells me its not natural and I have to learn to put things in the past or to go speak to this guy. Maybe one day but not yet. I’ll stick to watching him maybe even sit closer so I can catch even the tiniest details. She says if I do that then I may be obsessed, maybe I am I don’t mind though it makes me feel happy to start with.


Night