"Has been a lifesaver so many times!"
- Catherine Rampell, student @ University of Washington
"Exactly the help I needed."
- Jennifer Hawes, student @ San Jose State
"The best place for brainstorming ideas."
- Michael Majchrowicz, student @ University of Kentucky
Narrator: There once was an oracle told by the 3 Fates sisters, that one of Cronos’s sons would rise to defeat Cronos and take his seat as the supreme god. Cronos did not necessarily believe this prophecy, but he decided that he would take no chances, and so our story begins.
Rhea: Enters from doorway carrying cookie dough baby “Cronos,… Cronos,… we have a new baby boy, Poseidon”
Cronos: “There must be no challengers to my throne!” Grabs baby and eats it.
Rhea: Runs out crying.
Narrator: One year later…
Rhea: “Umm,… Cronos… Dear, you wouldn’t happen to be hungry would you?” holding baby behind back.
Cronos: No, why?
Rhea: “That’s good,” pulls out baby, “because we have a new baby boy. I think I will call him ha-
Cronos: Grabs child and eats it.
Rhea: “-des” crying, “I hate you!” Slaps Cronos and runs out.
Narrator: “With the birth of their third son, Zeus come the knowledge that Cronos would swallow all of his children in order to keep his throne. Suddenly and idea came to Rhea” light bulb is plugged in “She would give Zeus to a mortal couple to be raised and would dress up a rock to look like him”
Rhea: “Here, you might as well eat this one too” throws rock baby to Cronos.
Cronos: “I see you’re learning” eats rock baby.
Narrator: “After 17 long years, Zeus decides to return to Olympus in order to get his brothers back. Once there, he meets with his mother, Rhea.”
Rhea & Zeus: Start running toward each other in slow motion, Zeus trips but gets back up.
Rhea: “Son, I’ve been waiting for you. I have a plan to get our brothers back as well. ”
Narrator: “And so Rhea explained that they could get Poseidon and Hades back up by making some extra spicy food.”
Rhea &Zeus: Walk to Taco Bell scene.
Cashier: “Welcome to Taco Bell can I take your order?”
Zeus: “Yeah, can I get a taco, extra spicy.”
Narrator: “Uh… Guys aren’t you supposed to be making, and not buying it?”
Zeus: Hey, it’s the 90’s, nobody does anything themselves anymore.
Narrator: “and so they proceed with their plan”
Rhea: “Here you are dear” hands Cronos taco.
Cronos: Takes taco and eats it “Excuse me” runs out of room.
Poseidon & Hades: Walk in from outside.
Hades: “Man, that was disgusting!”
Poseidon: “That’s one ride I never want to take again,” Poseidon looks up, “Hey Mom, Brother!”
Narrator: “Soon, after drawing up a battle plan…”
Zeus, Hades, & Poseidon: All attack Cronos and kill him.
Zeus: Well, there’s only one way to decide who gets what, lets shoot die.
Hades: “Dang it, Snake eyes”
Zeus: Starts to laugh and eyes bright up.
Poseidon & Hades: “What did you get!?”
Poseidon: “So what do you want Zeus?”
Zeus: “I think I’ll take the Sky”
Poseidon: “Good, I’ll take the Sea.”
Hades: “I guess I’m stuck with the land down under.”
View Full Essay
Titans, Greek underworld, Zeus, Hades, Rhea, Poseidon, Pluto, Characters of God of War, Titans in popular culture
More Free Essays Like This