How to Win an Argument

To win an argument one must keep in mind the following factors: Is the
argument worth fighting? Do you have the proper background to win the
argument? Who is your opponent? And finally, do I have the proper
argumentative behavior.
Before getting involved in an argument, you must decide whether or not
it is even worth fighting. Does the subject at hand have any interest to you,
does it make a difference if you win or lose. An argument about Jackie
Gleson’s weight at death, or the amount of torque output in a 1976 Ford
Pinto, probably doesn’t make much difference to anyone and isn’t very
interesting. Not getting involved is probably the best way to go. However if
the argument will decide who gets the parking spot on 187th and Amsterdam,
or whether you have a week or a month to write an essay, you may want to
consider getting into the dispute. If fighting arguments is just an “ego boost”
or hobby, then disregard the above.
The next item to take into consideration is your background on the
topic. You should never enter an argument you have no information about,
because it will only end in “your mother is a .....” insults. In a factual
argument, it is helpful if the truth is on your side, but as we’ve learned from
our politicians, it is not necessary. However, if the truth does eventually get
out you may end up looking like a fool. In a multi-sided argument, an
argument which is not dealing in absolute truths, but rather different
opinions, it is preferable to believe in the side you for which you are arguing,
but isn’t necessary if your background is strong enough. In simpler terms,
don’t get into an argument you know “nothin” about.
It is important to know with whom you are arguing. If you are in a
relationship (guy - girl), and you are the guy, give up now you can’t win. The
laws of nature are against you. If you are the girl in the relationship, you
don’t need advise. It doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong you’ve won.
Just act upset or let out a few tears and he’ll crumble.
However if you are involved in a same sex, or non relationship bound,
argument the game plan is much different. You must have background
information, as discussed earlier, as well as a knowledge of your opponent. If
he has no insight into the subject and you do, then the upper hand is yours.
You can correct him. You can be confident that no matter what you say, your
opponent can’t refute you. However if he is well learned in the topic you must
be careful not to “bullshit,” because he can catch you. And when he does, you
end up not only wrong, but also looking foolish, as well as being discredited in
any other factual dispute.
Another good idea is to always seem confident. An argument is
psychological as well as factual. Be assertive in emphasizing your point of
view, and never let your opponent get the best of you by allowing your self to
lose your cool. A calm state of mind in a dispute will keep you focused on the
issue at hand. If the quarrel does become heated or moves to a personal level,
because your adversary begins to hurl personal insults at you, feel free to do
one of the following. You can leave the argument. Once your rival has begun
insulting you, you know he’s lost the fight. However don’t just walk away,
because this will leave you looking like a coward. You must end with the line,
“ Obviously, you have nothing intelligent to say,” which not only gives you the
freedom to leave, it also insults his intelligence. You’ve won the argument,
don’t turn around to face your opponent, just walk away. Your other option
is to force him to return to the topic of disagreement. To do this throw a quick
insult back at him and continue with the real debate by the insulting him and
then saying, “But really..... .” To do this you must be both quick and witty. If
you are lacking in either one, use the first option. Do not allow yourself to be
engage in a back and forth flinging of insults. This will make you look as
ignorant as he is. What ever you do never resolve to violence. This does not
mean let yourself get whipped by all means fight back if necessary. But