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Family Practice: Summary
10-16-96 By Rick R. Lopez
The American family today, has the same problems that the American
family of yesterday had. Daniel A. Sugarman, a psychologist in "Family Practice"
introduces us to several case studies that seem to be the main nucleus of family
problems today. He has put together a system called "Seven Ways to Keep the
Peace at Home," in which he describes seven different problems within our
American households today that can cause daily emotional and physical pain
within the family structure. The Seven case studies are based on children\'s
values that are driven by their parents emotions. "Giving up the myth of the
perfect Family," is the starting point. This is where the parents low self
esteem is driven into their child. The next step, "Tell it like you feel It,"
describes how families should share their feelings and not hold them in. After
that comes, "Don\'t play telephone", this is where a third person is used to
communicate between two parties. Another step is, "Make your blueprints
Flexible," you should not pre-plan your child\'s life for them. Then he goes into
the next step, which is about Contracts called, "Learn to use contracts." With
this step the family makes contracts with one another and then monitors and up
dates them so often. This helps with everybody holding to their end of the deal
when it comes to the family issues. One of the worst steps of all is, "Stop the
"Good Guy-"Bad Guy, " routine. I feel that having someone to blame for every
problem that arises can devastate a child. Parents need to think about what they
are going to say before they say it. The last step is, "Get rid of old emotional
Baggage," I have personal experience in this category. I had a hard time in
letting go of the old when trying to start new.
These seven steps that Dr. Sugarman has came up with are great ideas in
dealing with Family problems. Parents are the teachers and kids are the students.
Students can only learn by observing and role playing. Parents have to
incorporate the daily stresses of life and vent their emotions and adult matters
outside of the classroom and learn that what they do and say will be the example
they set for their children. This will eventually lead to a happier household.
Families have to work at being families everyday and always remember that,
"Their is no perfect family."
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Emotion, Limbic system, Subjective experience
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