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By: Kris Hudson
Each day, the statistics on domestic violence get more and more horrifying. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds, 22 to 35 percent of emergency room visits from women are because of ongoing partner abuse, 1 in 4 pregnant women have a history of partner violence, and 63 percent of young men between the ages of 11 and 20 are in jail for murdering their mothers abuser. Also domestic violence is the leading cause of injuries to women between 15 and 44. All these statistics prove that domestic violence is a big problem in our country.
Battering in a relationship is the establishment of control and fear through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer will use acts of violence and goes through a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to control the other person. The violence in the relationship may not happen often but it remains a hidden and terrorizing factor.
There are many people among us that are battered or have been battered. This problem is very sensitive and embarrassing. Some indicators that a woman is being abused are:
∑ the woman mentions not being able to use the phone
she cannot see friend unless her significant other is around
∑ her significant other will not let her drive, get a job, or go to school
∑ look for low self-esteem like she is unable to make eye contact or she always looks away or at the ground when talking
Some indicators that a male child is being abused are:
∑ serious problems with temper tantrums
∑ continual fighting at school or between siblings
∑ treating pets cruelly or abusively
∑ attempting to get attention by hitting, kicking, or choking
with female children:
∑ withdrawal (not obvious)
∑ cringing if you raise your arm
Batterings in the home usually donít start out with abuse. The spouse will use verbal abuse, hit objects, throw objects, break objects, and making threats. When these actions start, in almost 100 percent of the cases, the significant other resorts to battering. After the woman gets sick of the battering and decides to leave he will almost definitely try to get her back. There are five different ways he will try to get the woman back. One way is for him to bribe the woman into coming back, this is known as the honeymoon syndrome. The superdad syndrome is used when kids are involved and he has neglected them in the past. He will tell her that he will be a great dad if she returns. Another is known as the revival syndrome he will say that he has been to church every Sunday since the woman left and say that he has accepted god into his life. Next is the sobriety syndrome, the woman will think if he stops drinking he will stop beating me. The last is counseling syndrome, he will say he has been to counseling and will not beat her anymore when about one percent actually go to counseling.
What all this means is that we have a big problem on our hands that needs to be addressed and taken care of immediately. This cannot go on any longer unnoticed.
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